The Donkey Skin

Navy Uniforms

2011-12-24T00:38:00.003-05:00

I just inherited a book from Alan's dad, Uniforms of Napoleon's Army by Carle Vernet. I'm going to use it as a reference for my sailor hawk's costume, even though he's more inspired by Lord Nelson. I had thought that all I needed to finish my costume was to sew a regency coat out of newspaper, but after looking through this book and pictures of Nelson online, I'm wondering if I want to add a vest, white knee-length pants, and dress shoes to the costume. I am desperately trying to resist, though, because I have so many other costumes to make without adding to my to-do list. I think I'm better off sticking to my original plan: shiny black rain boots, navy pants, black belt, white button-up long-sleeved shirt, newspaper coat with epaulettes and gold buttons, red sash with fringe, and a newspaper sailor's hat.

Shaking and Shuddering (Lyrics)

2011-10-29T12:23:00.003-04:00

I have a new song. I wrote it in July and revised it in August. I haven't even had a chance to record it yet. It's been such a busy Fall, I haven't had much time for creative work. I really like this song; it's lively and funny. I think it's going to be really hard to perform it with musicians, though! The tune changes directions a lot.

Shaking and Shuddering

No room to sit here
Try another spot
HAVE YOU EVER

Have you ever shook
Shook and shuddered
Have you ever shuddered
All night long
You can't stop these things
They go on and on
ALL NIGHT LONG

And you find
You~ find
That you're losing your mind
You don't know where
You don't know when
You can't think at all
You can't think of anything
You're about to give up
You have to give up
IT'S ALL OVER

And you know
You know nothing
You~ are
You're not there at all
You're somewhere else
You can't find yourself
YOU CAN'T LOOK

You don't know your name
You know nothing
You can't read this
{Reading is a memory
{Reading is a memory
{That's what you said
{Before you forgot everything
You're just shaking
Shaking all the time
YOU'RE GETTING FEVER

You're getting fever
More and more
Everything is too hot
Everything is too cold
Everything is too much

You can't divide it
You can't divide everything
You can't think anything
Everything and anything
Anything and everything

You can't think it
You can't see it
You're shaking and shaking
You don't know it
You don't know time
Know~ space
You don't know here
Know~ there

EVERYTHING

Everything & &
Nothing & &
You~ don't
You~ shake
You're shaking now
You're fever
You're fever now
You're that thing
You're/that/thing/now

Everything & &
Everything & &
THAT THING NOW

Epaulettes

2011-08-05T13:39:00.003-04:00

Another project I finished this summer: epaulettes for my Sailor Hawk. He's loosely modeled on Lord Nelson, so maybe he should be Admiral Hawk? The epaulettes are made out of yellow felt and gold fringe. There's cardboard inside to keep them stiff, and they have a button embossed with a star at the end. Eventually, I will make a Regency coat out of newsprint to attach them to, and I will sew matching buttons on the jacket. In the meantime, here I am modeling how they should look when worn:

Egyptian Lizards

2011-08-03T14:57:00.003-04:00

For my "Lizard Nursery" scene in the Fairyland Around Us, I am sewing felt lizard babies. I am using the salamander pattern from Aranzi Aronzo (I don't remember which book). I've made 5 so far; the text mentions 40! Maybe I'll aim for an even dozen?

My mom was able to find me some great Halloween fabric, a stretchy, metallic green scale pattern. I'm going to use it to sew an Egyptian style dress for the "mother" lizard. I went with an Egyptian costume for practical reasons; Butterick, McCall's, and Simplicity don't make Assyrian, Chaldean, and Babylonian patterns! (But it would be cool if they did.) Here's a photo of the pattern and fabric:

The scene from the book:

"I walked down the road a ways this afternoon and perched on the old rail fence. The reason I perched upon the fence was because I wanted to think, and while I was thinking I saw several Lizards. Now a lizard fairy is a very interesting creature--from egghood up. And after one has raised some lizards from eggs one has a sort of brotherly feeling towards all Lizards. They so like fence corners, and so do I. Now there are lots of Lizards, but they are not all alike--there are Keeled Lizard (Gerrhonotus), Spiny Swift (Sceloporus undulatus), Common Spotted Lizard (Holbrookia maculata), "Horned Toad" (Phrynosoma), Skinks (Scincidae), Race Runner (Cumdophorus sexlineatus), and Glass "snake" (Orphisaurus ventralis). And all lizards do not hatch from eggs--for some are born alive. I learned this in Lizard nursery--where baby lizards to the number of thirty-three hatched from eggs last year. But some Mother Lizards whom I brought to lay eggs laid not eggs--and yet some mornings there were Baby Lizards with these Mother Lizards--and last year in the Lizard nursery seventeen baby Lizards were born alive--making a total of forty young Lizards (counting the thirty-three hatched from eggs). We named these forty from Assyrian. Egyptian, Chaldean, and Babylonian rulers--and seven were also given a second name from the Bible."

Clown Collars

2011-08-02T20:38:00.005-04:00

For Xmas, I got the book, Sewing for Children, by Emma Hardy, and one of the projects included is for a Clown Hat and Ruff. I finished one clown collar in January, and then school happened, so I didn't get around to finishing the second until June. I had to adjust the pattern to fit an adult, and I hemmed the bottom of my collar, whereas they just pinked the bottom.

I made two, one for each of my clowns. One's mostly a black print with white rick-rack trim, and the other's mostly a white print with black rick-rack. Both clowns will be dressed in black and white; I just can't decide if one should wear mostly black and the other should wear mostly white, or if they both should equally wear either color. I can't decide how much it matters to me. On the one hand, I'll probably be playing both characters anyway, and they are essentially androgynous, and are basically two aspects of one character; on the other hand, designating a predominant color for each would help differentiate them. If I had to choose a color for each, I'd probably pick white for Joe, so he could wear a traditional Pierrot costume, and then black for Jane. But then I think, is black too harsh for her, and isn't that unnecessarily limiting? Plus, I already have this really great white suit from Rampage for Jane. Oh, well. I'm sure this is an issue that will only bother me.

Hair Dye, Part 4

2011-07-14T12:29:00.005-04:00

Ok - so this time I tried L'Oreal Superior Preference Dark Soft Mahogany Brown (Warmer). A word of warning: this stuff smells toxic! Well, all hair dyes smell toxic, but this one is by far the worst I've smelled in years (and I've tried A LOT of dyes). But the color looks right...finally! It's dark brown, but warm. Now I have to decide if I will try yet another shade, because this one smelled so horrible (and came with really cheap, ill-fitting gloves) or if I will try it again. Of course, it might not turn out as well the second time; the color will be slightly different because I'll be dying on top of dye. It might come out too dark. Oh, well. We'll see. I'll probably try it again unless I stumble across something that looks more promising (or is on sale).

Eurydice's Veil

2011-07-10T23:44:00.009-04:00

Marpessa Dawn as Eurydice in Black Orpheus.

In the Fairyland Project, I have a scene about wild thyme:

"How we children love the Wild Thyme as it blossoms by the wayside from June to September. Did you know that Thyme was used as incense in Greek temples? Have you watched the bees and butterflies come to its blossoms? It belongs to the mint family. Who are some of its cousins? We children like this verse:

I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,
Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,
Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,
With sweet musk roses, and wit eglantine
- Shakespeare"

I knew Wild Thyme would be a woman from Ancient Greece, but then I saw Jean Cocteau's Orpheus and Marcel Camus's Black Orpheus, and fell in love with those movies. So I knew the Grecian woman had to be Eurydice. I also loved the costumes in Black Orpheus, and the traditional linen chiton I was planning to make became Eurydice's carnival costume.

Marpessa Dawn as Eurydice in Black Orpheus.

Eurydice's dress in Black Orpheus is a pleated gold Grecian-style gown, with sea foam green and white tulle flowing down from each shoulder and a short lavender tulle veil with gold sequin trim. I haven't made the dress yet, but I bought some gold tissue lame fabric with a black floral pattern on it that I found on sale, and some white and sea foam green tulle. I also got a pair of gold Grecian-style sandals (actually, they look more Roman, but they were close enough and fit my budget. What's a few centuries and cultures among friends/enemies?).

I found some gold sequin leaf appliques and sewed them on the top of gold headband, and sewed lavender tulle for the veil on the underside of the headband.

I also found a gold mask to use for Eurydice. Since this particular project could last forever, I'm playing all the roles. To differentiate them, the narrator, Opal, won't wear a mask, but will wear butterfly imagery (like butterfly print clothing and butterfly shaped jewelry and butterfly wings); all the other characters will wear unique masks. I am making most of the masks out of felt, but I couldn't find metallic gold felt, so I bought this mask. I like the effect of the masks; they add to the uncanniness of the characters.

I also think thyme is a good symbol for Eurydice, as it is supposed to represent strength and courage. On her wedding day, in an attempt to escape a satyr's advances, Eurydice stumbles into a viper's nest and is stung and dies (Oooohhh...maybe I should get some plastic snakes!). Orpheus, her husband, goes in pursuit of her in the underworld and wins her life back by playing music for Hades and Persephone (another one of my characters!). Orpheus is allowed to leave the underworld with Eurydice, providing he doesn't look back at her. Of course, he does, and she is lost to him forever. If ever someone needed strength and courage! To fight off a satyr, to die from venom, to be brought back to life, and then to die moments later due to the human weaknesses of your husband...that's a really bad day!

I think I'll shoot the scene in front of a classical style facade, with Eurydice burning thyme. And plastic vipers all over the ground. I love that the snakes could both appear natural and inexplicable.

Fleur-de-Lis

2011-07-08T18:48:00.005-04:00

I finally finished embroidering the fleur-de-lis decoration for my Blue Iris knight (see my June 2009 posting "Blue Iris - In Progress)! I have all these half-finished projects, but I am slowly working away at them. An hour here; and hour there. Now I just need to finish sewing the knight's deep blue tabard, so I can sew the fleur-de-lis on it. I've cut out the basic shape and the trim pieces for the ruffle, but I need to cut and sew the neck, and make and attach the ruffle. I also need to make him a sword/leaf...

A New Website!

2011-07-02T00:27:00.002-04:00

I have a new website! It's http://azurecarter.weebly.com. On it, you'll find links to my other blogs, Luna Theater and Family & Friends, as well as a new blog, Galerie Lunaire. You'll also find a really easy to use contact form, because lots of people have told me how hard it is to comment on Blogger. I hope you'll go visit!

A Model For Persephone

2011-06-13T12:31:00.004-04:00

Alan took pictures of this memorial in Morgantown, WV. I think statue's attitude would be a perfect model for my winter scenes of Persephone. Next time I have a chance to shoot at a cemetery....

Alan shot some footage of me, in costume, walking mournfully through Greenwood cemetery about a year ago, but I wasn't really happy with the results. This statue's pose is more like what I was looking for; it's very striking.

I wouldn't hold a cross, but I could try walking with my hands folded over my breast, and maybe I would hold some fern fronds/flowers (like a funerary offering?).

Hair Dye, Parts 2 & 3

2011-06-04T01:02:00.004-04:00

I tried two more colors, and neither one was right. The 1st was L'Oreal's Feria #40 Natural Espresso Deeply Brown; strangely, it was far too light. The 2nd was L'Oreal's Sublime Mousse #56 Spicy Auburn Brown; it turned out really red. Next weekend I am trying another dye; fingers crossed that I'll still find the perfect shade of dark brown for my projects. Luckily, hair grows quickly! I am hoping to get some costumes finished this summer and take some photos; having the right hair color would help.

ESP Gig

2011-01-26T22:32:00.004-05:00

Here's a YouTube link to the first song of the the set we played at ESP-Disk on the 20th: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt7ETs8WRlA.

Azure Carter, voice, song
Chris Diasparra, Sax
Chris Nolte, Bass
Alan Sondheim, oud
Foofwa d'Imobilite, video

Hair Dye

2011-01-14T12:02:00.003-05:00

First attempt to dye my hair a dark brown for my clowns didn't work out. I tried Nice N' Easy Natural Darkest Brown; unless I am standing under direct light, it looks black. And it's such a pain to try and get your hair a lighter color after it's been dyed dark. *SIGH* At least when I start experimenting with the make-up, it's temporary.

ESP DISK Performance

2011-01-10T02:07:00.003-05:00

Alan and I will be performing Live at ESP DISK's album release party, along with Paul Thornton and The Guiseppi Logan Quartet, on January 20th, 2011, at 7:30pm. The address is 990 Bedford Ave., Brooklyn, NY 11217; suggested donation $5.

Fire Museum Records

2011-01-10T01:58:00.002-05:00

Alan and I and Helena Espvall (an amazing cellist) recorded a bunch of music for Fire Museum Records (http://www.museumfire.com/) on December 18th, 2010. I'm not sure when any of it will be released, but it was a great recording session.

The Clown Project

2011-01-10T01:16:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking about my clowns a lot lately, in part because the Promethean task of costume and prop-making I have set myself for my Fairyland project is over-whelming, but also because I just really like my clowns.

I need to experiment with make-up. My clowns are part mythic (fairytale, archetype), but they also need to be part human. I might occasionally use clown white (a thick white makeup), but I do not want to rely strictly on traditional make-up and costuming for my Pierrots because I feel that makes them too easy to dismiss as "just clowns." I'll quote aspects of traditional Pierrots in my make-up, costuming, and performances, but I am looking to explore something more flexible and fluid.

I'm going to dye my hair a dark brown instead of black, and I'll try a very pale-colored foundation instead of clown white. I'll try different eyeliners and mascaras, and red and pale lipsticks, to see what combination will work the best for me. I need to try it out for myself to find the right balance between clown and human.

For costuming, I'd like a wide range of outfits, from a traditional Pierrot's costume to street clothes. The unifying factor will be that all the clothes will be in black and white. I want to use bold, visual patterns like stripes, diamonds, and polka dots, as well as lots of texture, like lace, tulle, pearls, and felt, for a graphic, rich, nuanced, tactile appearance. The only color I will add will be the red of my lips and the red of the heart I will wear.

In He Who Gets Slapped, Lon Chaney's character, who was the original inspiration for my Clown Project, is a tragic clown who wears a heart patch on his chest that gets ripped off during every performance. It's really appealing symbolically: wearing your heart on your sleeve, emotionally an open book, heartfelt, brokenhearted, bleeding heart, in love, etc. So my clowns will wear a variety of either heart pins of necklaces, that will range from anatomical to symbolic depictions.

I have two clowns. I see them as both being one person, two halves of one whole, as well and being a couple. They are at times androgynous and interchangeable, and they are also masculine and feminine, yin and yang, Adam and Eve. They are a self-contained unit; they might interact with the outside world, but they only need each other.

My masculine clown is named "Joe," after Joseph Grimaldi. Grimaldi was a famous Regency entertainer and the father of the modern clown. His nickname was "Joey," and all clowns are called "Joey" in his honor, but I did not want to name my clown "Joey" because I want him to be a man as well as a clown. I didn't name him "Joseph" because he is not Grimaldi; Joe is a composite of inspirations, of whom Grimaldi is just one). I liked "Joe" because it references Grimaldi as well as remaining anonymous, as in "Joe Smith." He's an "Everyman."

I named my feminine clown "Jane," after Jane Austen. I love Jane Austen and she's a famous Regency author and it's a chance to pat tribute to her and all the hours I've spent reading her works, watching Austen movies, and reading spin-off novels and parodies. Her books are so iconically feminine, the name "Jane" is also suitably anonymous, and the two short "J" names were complimentary.

Fairyland Project Characters & Props

2010-10-28T22:46:00.002-04:00

Now that I am in school again, I've indefinitely extended the deadline for my project. And changed the project a bit too. Originally I was just envisioning a video, now the project is about the process of creating this project as well as the performances and video it will generate.

At one point, I was considering using other performers in my project, but with my new deadline, I've decided to portray all the roles. In order to have clear divisions between the characters, Opal, my narrator, with always be wearing butterflies and be associated with butterflies, and all the other characters will wear masks.

I have a character from Ancient Greece in the Fairyland Project. Originally I was going to give her a traditional Grecian gown, but then I saw Cocteau's Orpheus and Black Orpheus. I loved both movies so much and adore Marpessa Dawn's carnival costume. So I've named my character Eurydice and am going to style my costume on her gold Grecian gown. I've already bought a pair of gold Roman-style sandals and some gold tissue lame for the dress.

For my Sailor Hawk, I recently came across an old copy of the magazine for the Museum of the American Indian that had an ad for skirt made out of rectangles of sheer white silk, block-printed with stylized eagle feathers. So I just ordered a feather stamp and want to make something like this, perhaps a bib, for my hawk to wear beneath his Regency style jacket (which will be made out of newspaper and contact paper).

I've also seen some fanciful butterfly chandeliers online and want to make one as a prop. I've already bought some vintage chandelier prisms and my mom found me some butterfly paper punches.

Philadephia Performance

2010-10-09T02:09:00.006-04:00

Alan and and I will be performing in Philly tonight with as part of an experimental quintet. All the money we make will be going towards Haitian relief efforts, so please come! Details below:

Fire Museum Presents:

Vavoom Quintet
Alan Sondheim, Helene Espvall, Barry Weisblat, Margarida Garcia,
Azure Carter

Eric Carbonara

George Korein

Saturday, October 9th 8:00PM
Highwire Gallery
2040 Frankford Ave.
Philadelphia, PA $6

Vavoom Quintet:

Taking their name from a character from the Felix the Cat cartoon that could level a mountain with the sound of his voice, this is the debut performance of the Vavoom Quintet.

This evening is a benefit for Partners In Health's Haitian Relief Work.

links at http://www.museumfire.co/events

Mt. Tremper Arts

2010-09-14T22:33:00.003-04:00

In August, Foofwa, Alan and I all performed an improvisation together at Mt. Tremper Arts. Foofwa has a link on his homepage, under the August 10th, 2010 posting, to a video of the performance: http://foofwa.com/index.html

Costume Shop

2010-09-14T22:25:00.003-04:00

I may not have time for my own projects lately, but at least my new work/study program job is at Hunter College's Costume Shop! It's the poor man's costume design degree. I get to see how a professional costume shop is run and hopefully I'll pick up some new skills. I'm already getting lots of practice measuring actors and actresses for their costumes. I'm also hoping this job will help preserve my sanity; a little island of creativity in a sea preschool and elementary school obligations.

Posting Update & Murmur (Lyrics)

2010-08-21T22:42:00.004-04:00

Between working and looking for work, applying to grad school and being accepted to grad school, I've let posting to my blog slip. I do have every intention of trying to remedy that immediately and get back to regular posts (even if that may be ambitious in the face of my upcoming course load).

August 6th, Alan, Foofwa, and I performed at Mt. Tremper Arts, and I got to debut my new song Murmur. I wrote it on a plane flight to Denver, Co., on July 2nd.

Murmur

Creatures neath the surface/ murmur among themselves
Softly mewling in silt/ tender touching/ lovely
Many eyes wide open/ to stirrings of the surface
But remaining in the depths/ everything blurs smoothly
Some come with memories/ of others offered/ bartered
What could be given then/ but creatures warm and floating

Turning and mourning/ turns mourning and turning
Many eyes shyly close in comfort/ and close comfort
Many sights to see/ and many seas are sleeping
Many creatures slipping/ many mourning/ drowning

Creatures neath the surface/ murmur among themselves
Softly mewling in silt/ tender touching/ lovely
Many eyes wide open/ to stirrings of the surface
But remaining in the depths/ everything blurs smoothly
Some come with memories/ of others offered/ bartered
What could be given then/ but creatures warm and floating

Turning and mourning/ turns mourning and turning
Many eyes shyly close in comfort/ and close comfort
Many sights to see/ and many seas are sleeping
Many creatures slipping/ many mourning/ drowning

May Performance Update

2010-04-14T22:31:00.003-04:00

Tuesday, May 4th, 2010

ESP-Disk LIVE @ The Jazz Lounge (Sucre Cafe)

520 Dekalb Ave (near Bedford Ave)

Brooklyn, NY 11205

G Train to Bedford/Nostrand

Starting at 8:30pm

Alan Sondheim - electric oud/electric saz
Azure Carter - vocals
Myk Freedman - lap steel, guitar

March Performance Update

2010-02-28T21:37:00.004-05:00

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010
ESP-Disk LIVE @ The Jazz Lounge (Sucre Cafe)
520 Dekalb Ave (near Bedford Ave)
Brooklyn, NY 11205
G Train to Bedford/Nostrand

8:30pm
Blaise Siwula - alto/tenor sax
Bern Nix - guitar

9:30pm
Alan Sondheim - electric oud/electric saz
Azure Carter - vocals
Myk Freedman - lap steel.guitar

If you're around, please come hear us play! We are also working out a date for us to play at Linger, on Atlantic Ave in Brooklyn, in April. I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, here's a recording of Dark Robe from our rehearsals today: http://www.alansondheim.org/darkrobe.mp3

Recent, Current, and Future Performances

2010-01-17T13:00:00.007-05:00

I've gotten a bit behind on my posts, so I wanted to play catch up with my performances:

On October 4th, 2009, Foofwa, Alan and I performed "Ennui" at The Tank in Manhattan as part of Pentacle's UMove Dance Video Festival launch party and Movement Media fundraiser. Foofwa and Alan both had videos selected for UMove's first annual festival.

October 10th, 2009, Alan and I performed together at Philly's Magic Gardens as part of Steve Tobin's Fire Museum Presents. Steve put up a clip of part of one piece on You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5R9eDl6A73E.

November 8th, 2009, Myk Freedman, Alan and I performed with ESP-Disk's Jazz Foundation Benefit at the Bowery Poetry Club.

This month, Foofwa will be presenting "Musings," and Foofwa, Alan and I will be presenting "Involuntaries" at Dance New Amsterdam (DNA) in Manhattan. We are opening their Winter dance season. Performances are on January 21-23 at 8pm and on January 24, 2010, at 3pm. Please come! We'd love to see you. The link to DNA is: http://www.dnadance.org/site/. The pieces we will be performing are based on video collaborations we made last year. Foofwa has posted some of them on his website: http://www.foofwa.com/productions/video/choreiagraphies.html.

On March 2nd, 2010, Myk, Alan and I will be performing as part of ESP-Disk Presents at Sucre Coffee & Jazz Lounge (520 Dekalb Ave., Brooklyn, NY 11205).

In May or June, Myk, Alan and I will most likely be going on an East Coast tour as part of the digital release of our ESP-Disk recording Ratava. Possible stops include Boston, Richmond, Baltimore, Providence, NYC, and Philly. I will post an update when we learn more.

Dark Robe (Lyrics)

2009-12-13T22:39:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I just finished a new song. Hopefully, I'll record it soon. In the meantime, here's the lyrics:

Dark Robe

Here is the field of mice
And here is the field of tall hickory
Here is the pleasant murmuring stream
And here are the wages of death

Yea, though I say death, I see death
Though I see death, I shall not see death
Death is a woman stalking me
Death is a woman stalking me

Here is the field of barley
And here is the meadow of forest voles
Here I shall not sleep again tonight
And here I shall foment cries and war

Yea, though I say death, I see death
Though I see death, I shall not see death
Death is a woman stalking me
Death is a woman stalking me

Here is a field of barley and corn
And here is a field of cedar
Here with death I shall lie in the field
And here with war I shall die in the forest

Yea, though I say death, I see death
Though I see death, I shall not see death
Death is a woman stalking me
Death is a woman stalking me

Here is a field of corn
And here is a meadow of forest mice
War is a sickle and dark robe
War is a man with chemical burns

Yea, though I say death, I see death
Though I see death, I shall not see death
Death is a woman stalking me
Death is a woman stalking me

Yea, though I say death, I see death
Though I see death, I shall not see death
Death is a woman stalking me
Death is a woman stalking me

Sailor Hawk Hat

2009-10-18T00:31:00.004-04:00

In the Summer section of the Fairyland Project I'm including a part about hawks: "June 24th - I've been watching Hawks today. They are wonderful sailors - my! how we children wish that we could sail through the air as they do...." I immediately thought of several scenes in the Amanda Root/Ciaran Hinds movie version of Persuasion where Admiral Croft amuses the Musgrove boys by teaching them to make folded paper sailboats, and Anne and the boys set sail to them in a stream. It was so very charming to see Admiral Croft dressed in uniform, triumphantly holding a paper boat.

When I imagine the hawk scene, I see sailing paper boats and I also see paper hats. They both seem like such traditional childhood activities. Not only is a hawk a sailor in the sky, I wanted Opal transformed into a child's version of a sailor, so I made two newspaper hats (I might have two people perform this scene). Of course, they must look both childlike and fantastical, so the hats are made from newspaper, which I glued together and coated with Mod Podge. They're quite robust and have a sheen to them. But then I attached fancy gold trim, tassels, and an ornate rosette to the brim, as if it were a real hat. I also plan to use these hats in my Clown Project (Grimaldi had a brother who was a sailor).

Eventually I will also make two red sashes with gold fringe for my sailors to wear, over a white shirt, navy pants, and possibly tall black rain boots. I'm also experimenting with creating frock coats out of newspaper, to which I will add real buttons and attach epaulettes made of yellow felt and more gold fringe. I think my sailors will be quite dashing.

Now all I need to do is get some nice footage of a hawk flying. I've thought of going into Manhattan to try and film Pale Male. I also bought a kite with the image of a hawk on it, and I love the idea of my sailors in full regalia flying a hawk kite in the park. And, of course I need to make some paper sailboats.

World (Lyrics)

2009-10-06T01:29:00.002-04:00

World

What I stumble towards
What I have wanted to describe
What is indescribable
The tendency of my work

The thickness of the world
The idiocy of the real
When there is death
The interior of a world disappears

There are details
One can see this in any past
The smell of a kitchen
The paint on the edges of the chairs

Do the chairs need repainting
Certain parts of the backs are worn
He sits there
She here

There's a sound they make
Different sounds, pulled in and out
The dulled
Reflection of the chairs on the floor

When they were new
When they began to disappear
The last
Memory of the chairs

What I stumble towards
What I have wanted to describe
What is indescribable
The tendency of my work

***

What I stumble towards
What I have wanted to describe
What is indescribable
The tendency of my work

The thickness of the world
The idiocy of the real
When there is death
The interior of a world disappears

There are details
One can see this in any past
The smell of a kitchen
The paint on the edges of the chairs

Do the chairs need repainting
Certain parts of the backs are worn
He sits there
She here

There's a sound they make
Different sounds, pulled in and out
The dulled
Reflection of the chairs on the floor

When they were new
When they began to disappear
The last
Memory of the chairs

What I stumble towards
What I have wanted to describe
What is indescribable
The tendency of my work

***

What I stumble towards
What I have wanted to describe
What is indescribable
The tendency of my work

The thickness of the world
The idiocy of the real
When there is death
The interior of a world disappears

Wind Fairy Costume - The Collar

2009-09-19T00:25:00.012-04:00

In the Spring section of The Fairyland Around Us, I include parts of a chapter called "Aurelius Evangel in Search of the Joyous Blue." Aurelius Evangel is "a little wind fairy" who meets Cousin Columbine, Great Blue Heron, and Fleur-de-Lis, "all fairies who wear the blue."

When I tried to envision the wind fairy, I pictured sky colors and movement. My inspiration for the main costuming element, the collar, is a costume Foofwa used with a piece choreographed for Maud Liardon. He took a long, white fringe curtain and fastened it tight around her neck, like a collar. It shimmied and shaked and swayed around her. So, I thought I'd make a similar collar out of yarn and wire, and the yarn would twist and turn with the body and could even blow out with the breeze or a fan. It would display wind-like movement well.

I started working on it when we got back from Colorado. While Foofwa and Alan edited the videos we made, I got a length of thick, bendable wire from our neighbor, Mark Esper, overlapped the ends by an inch, and covered the whole thing with white electrical tape.

Since I'm not sure if I'll be wearing the costume or if someone else will, I made the collar into a large, inflexible circle that could fit over a variety of heads (in the book, the wind fairy is male). This has turned out to be a happy accident, because the large circle makes the yarn dangle away from the body, giving it even more sway.

My color scheme for this character is light blue, dark blue, lilac, and white, and I had already purchased yarn in those colors in May. I cut roughly 3 yard lengths of yarn and tied them to the wire collar with a lark's head (cow hitch) knot in the pattern of 2 light blue threads, 2 dark blue, 2 light blue, 2 lilac, 2 white, and repeat. At first, I tried to use only one set of light blue in the pattern, but the overall look was too variegated and I wanted it to look more uniform and blue. I am trying to capture an idealized "sky" color.

A detail picture of the collar, showing beads and bells.

I finished adding all the yarn before we went to Utah, and I started the beading when we got back. Beside the color and movement, I wanted the costume to be even more dynamic, to have extra dimensionality. I pictured a wind chime and I wanted a glint of sunshine, so I added bells and beads. I didn't want the collar to resemble a beaded curtain or to be so weighed down it would restrict the yarn's movement, so I used embellishment sparsely. For every 2 white strands of yarn in the pattern, I strung 1 clear pony bead (I used pony beads so they'd be easy to thread over the thick yarn). For every 2 lilac strands of yarn, I strung 1 clear purple glitter pony bead. For every 2 dark blue strands, I strung 1 clear blue glitter pony bead. And for every 4 strands of light blue yarn, I strung 1 9mm silver bell.

I strung the beads and bells somewhat randomly, just paying enough attention so that they didn't all end up tied to just the top, middle, or bottom. I think the effect is quite pleasing, a slight glimmer and jingle; it seems to me very fairy-like.

I chose the bell size to approximate the bead size (they are slightly larger), but unfortunately the "eye" of the bell was too small to thread onto the yarn. I ended up having to wrap the ends of the yarn with tape and twist it as tight as I could to be able to thread the beads.

Since I didn't want the yarn to drag on the ground every time I bent, I cut about 6 inches off all the yarn ends and double knotted them to prevent fraying (I triple knotted beneath the beads and bells to prevent them from slipping out of place). I didn't like how even the bottom line of the the yarn came out (it looked too much like a curtain), so I wore the collar and hand cut and re-knotted the yarn, again, to look more haphazard. I felt like I was giving Cousin Itt a haircut, and yarn is hot to wear in the middle of a heat wave. As with all my costumes and props, the collar ended up taking far longer than I imagined to make.

The collar in motion.

For the photo I am wearing a blue slip underneath the collar, but eventually I will make a costume. I am thinking of making a pair of pants if the fairy is male, or a shift dress if the fairy is female. Originally, I imagined using a sheer, filmy fabric, but I ended up finding a shiny upholstery fabric that is tone on tone with little dots in the exact same shade of light gray/blue as the yarn. I'm also thinking that for the video, the wind fairy will have slicked back, stylized hair with light blue hair paint.

Among the Ferns/I Hear Voices (Lyrics, Song, Notes)

2009-09-12T01:20:00.011-04:00

Among the Ferns/I Hear Voices

Who shall go into this world
Holding life in his palms
Fearless and free and laughing
With high adventurous joy

Who shall be like a grave
Where men may bury
Sin and sorrow and shame
To rise again in the new day

I lay among the ferns
Where they lifted their fronds
In the greenwood wilderness
Like wings, winnowing the air

And I listened
And in the silence
I knew the secret

Who deeply listening shall hear
Voices of all creatures
Forests and mountains and stars
So softly, inaudibly they rained

Who shall feel fulfilled
Over the world expanding
Among all creatures, loyally passing
In perfect equality

The secret growth of ferns
Delicate leaflets tremble breathing
An undescribed
And unuttered life

And I listened
And in the silence
I knew the secret

***

Come unto me
O yearning and inarticulate
Come unto me
And I will give you rest

Come unto me
O yearning and inarticulate
Come unto me
And I will give you rest

Breathing your lives out
Like a long unuttered prayer

In your eyes, deep-looking
I will touch you

Many the words unspoken
But here there is speech

Come into the fragrant woods
And walk with me

Though you know not
My arm's about you

Come walk
And leave all to me

***

Softly
Inaudibly
I hear the voices

So softly
They rain
Where I sit silent

Softly
Inaudibly
I hear the voices

So softly
They rain
Where I sit silent

***

And I listened
And in the silence
I knew the secret

Here's the link to my first recording of the song: http://www.alansondheim.org/azure/echoferns1.mp3. It came out too quiet, so I'll try to re-record it soon.

This is the first song I've written where I haven't used one of Alan's texts. That's because I wrote it specifically for the Fairyland Project. I thought I should write a song for my own video, and in this project, I am trying to use only the text of The Fairyland Around Us, to stay true to Whiteley's book. I wanted a song for the closing credits and the last piece in the book is a poem by Edward Carpenter called "Among the Ferns," which seemed a like a good candidate for basing a song on.

Whiteley only includes part of this poem, but I found it in its entirety (pgs. 144-147) on Google Books in a book called The Gypsy Trail (I am including a link to it on the side bar under "Related Websites"). I started to work on the song, and immediately two complete sections (words and tune) came to me that I loved:

"Who Shall be like a grave
Where me may bury
Sin and sorrow and shame
To rise again in the new day"

and

"I lay among the ferns
Where they lifted their fronds
In the greenwood wilderness
Like wings, winnowing the air

And I listened
And in the silence
I knew the secret."

I got stalled for awhile and I thought my difficulty was that there wasn't enough text to work with, so I decided to use another of Carpenter's poems, "I Heard the Voice of the Woods" (pgs. 147-149), which was very similar in language and subject to the first poem. I quickly wrote the second half of the song, but it was so different in tone, that I went back to working with the first poem, and I came up with what's the first section of the song. In the end, I liked both parts and joined them, but I feel they have two very different voices.

That's why I gave the song two titles; the first half of the song is "Among the Ferns," and seems to me very much about someone out in the forest, communing with nature, setting roots and mossing over, their toes in the loam and their head in the clouds. The second half of the song is "I Hear Voices," and is the Voice she hears, whether in ecstasy or craziness, it really doesn't matter. There are mystical aspects of Whiteley's nature writings and I feel like this song has a mystical side as well, a little bit of St. Theresa, St. Francis, Eve and the Serpent and Tree of Knowledge, and Red Riding Hood and the Wolf, all thrown in for good measure.

I really did like the old-fashioned poetic language of Carpenter's two pieces for this song; I tried to echo that as faithfully as possible and kept some of the repetition that was in both works, as well. I wanted something somewhat wistful and melancholy for the end of the video, especially since I am ending it with shots of a cemetery and the death of Persephone, and I think the first half of the song is. The Second half is hopefully more forceful and alluring, as I'd imagine the "Voice" would need to be.

Involuntary Dance Videos

2009-09-08T23:12:00.008-04:00

I took a hiatus from my blog this summer as I was busy traveling and working. We spent 2 weeks in Colorado with my parents and 2 weeks in Utah with my Aunt, and worked with Foofwa back in NYC for a week and a half in between. But now we are home again and it's time to start catching up.

First of all, I have to congratulate Alan and Foofwa; they both submitted videos to the UMove Videodance festival and were accepted. The videos will be screened in NYC on October 4th at Tank. Here's the link: http://pentacle.org/movement_media_umove.asp. Foofwa's video is of him and Kira Sedlock dancing on a rock in West Virginia when he came out to work with us last Winter; Alan's video is of his avatar dancing in Second Life with Foofwa providing the motion capture files.

Foofwa is back in Geneva now, but before he went away, we had an intense period of collaboration. Foofwa rented studio space at the Mark Morris Dance Center for two days, where we performed, and then Foofwa and Alan spent about a week transferring the video to DVDs, etc. We ended up producing 13 videos, and might perform some of the pieces live at Dance New Amsterdam in January.

A still of Foofwa warming up at Mark Morris, with our cameras ready on tripods in the background.

A lot of the videos we made can be found online; there are a couple on You Tube and a bunch on Foofwa's website. For every piece we did, Foofwa and I would wear a different "costume" and Alan would play a different musical instrument. Foofwa's choreography is part of the ongoing work he's been doing inspired in part by chorea, disorders of the nervous system marked by involuntary movements.

A still of me warming up my voice to sing.

Listed in the "Video Productions" section of Foofwa's blog, under the title of "Choreiagraphies," there are 7 of the dances we worked on: http://www.foofwa.com/productions/video/choreiagraphies.html. I am in Involuntaries 2 - part 1 and 2 singing my song "Making Boys", Involuntaries 3 - part 1 and 2 performing, Involuntaries 4 - part 1, 2, and 3 performing, Involuntaries 5 singing my song "What Remains", and Involuntaries 7 performing. In the last 2 dances, I used my costume for "Spring."

A still of Foofwa and Alan (in the mirror) and I after performing Involuntaries 5.

In all of the pieces, even though we are in the same small space, we are performing as if our characters are unrelated, which creates a feeling of the uncanny about them. Alan's convinced that in Involuntaries 4, I am dancing to his music, but it's far worse than he imagines. I really did not want to be moving in relationship to them, so I tried as hard as I could to block them out, and in my head I was playing Kings of Convenience's "I'd Rather Dance With You" over and over in my head. Except that it was rather hard to block out Alan's playing and Foofwa's movement, and I was concentrating hard, so most of the time I could pretty much only remember the first line of the song, "I'd rather dance with you than talk with you," which made it very hard to dance to. After about the first minute, I got better at blocking and was able to remember more and the dancing changes. I used that song because I've been listening to it a lot; it's the inspiration for a Horror Project idea I'm working on involving zombies. Alan would groan if he realized that even in the midst of working on one project, my head's in another.

Part of the photos stills we took, unrelated to the videos.

Also on Foofwa's blog, listed under Brown University Productions (in "Video Productions"), there are 3 pieces with me performing sleeping/resting avatar to Foofwa's active avatar: Columnae, Wryt Cave, and Follow 1. Here's the link: http://www.foofwa.com/productions/video/video_brown.html.

Opening Titles - Imagined

2009-06-28T00:26:00.003-04:00

Since it is taking so long to make and gather my props and costumes, and to shoot the actual scenes, I thought I'd write descriptions of what I've shot, what I'd like to shoot, variations of what I could shoot, and comments. That way, at least there'd be some form of my video available, even if it only exists in text.

Opening Titles

I thought I'd start off my video with darkness. I might add the sound of children whispering and giggling quietly. Or I might add some music. A light would come on and you would see an old-fashioned portable screen, or a white sheet, illuminated faintly. I like the use of the old-fashioned screen because it speaks of home movies, accessible technology, and a certain sort of timelessness.

In the light, a book is being looked at and is open to an ornate 1859 (Dover reprint) title page: Hand Shadows by Henry Bursill. Originally, I had the idea of shooting this scene with a close up of the backs of two children, sitting cross-legged next to each other on the floor, with their heads bent together as if they are whispering. The camera zooms in between them as if the viewer is peering over their shoulders to see what they are looking at. You see a close-up of hands holding open a book to the old-fashioned title page. The book is upright, filling the screen, and as it is put down out of the shot, the camera focuses on the screen with the light on it.

I haven't watched what Alan shot yet, but I think it's a close-up with my hands holding open the book to the title page, then a separate shot of the screen.

Alan shot my hands forming the shadows, and the shadow projections on the screen in the background. My idea is to intersperse the images of the hand shadows with images of blank screen, on which I will place my opening titles. I like the self-referential quality of having the video titles appear on an actual screen.

At the end of the titles and shadows, the light turns off and the shot turns black. The next scene will be of "Opal," the nararator, sleeping in bed, under a quilt, with a stuffed animal tucked under her arm and toys spread out on the bed. I want a "Land of Counterpane" - type image. With this shot, I will inlcude a voiceover of the first part of Opal Whiteley's book dedication:

To You

Little children over the world
Who are dreaming of a fairyland far distant
and
Who are longing to know the fairies

And also to you grown-ups
Who have kept the faith in childhood
and
Who are seeking inspiration for your work
In the everyday things around you

This dedication is such a lovely summary of who I'd like to make my video for.

At the end of the scene, there's a close-up of a antique wooden puzzle on the bed. The pieces spell out "SPRING." This becomes the title for the first section.

Nautical Flags - In Progress

2009-06-06T23:20:00.007-04:00

"June 24th -- I've been watching Hawks today. They are wonderful sailors -- my! how we children wish that we could sail through the air as they do."
--Opal Whiteley, The Fairyland Around Us

One of my summer scenes is about hawks as sailors, so I wanted to make some nautical flag bunting out of felt. I was having trouble deciding if I wanted the flags to spell out anything, and if so, what? Then I came across a book called War at Sea in the Age of Sail: 1650-1850 by Andrew Lambert. There's an illustration in it of Nelson's famous signal at Trafalgar, as reprinted in a children's Victorian magazine.

The minute I saw it, I knew I'd be modeling my bunting after this image. I think the representation of Nelson's signal might not be quite accurate. When I did an internet search on the subject, this image might be missing a word and a few of the flags might be wrong. But since I am not going for historical accuracy, I wanted to model my flags on what appeared in the children's magazine, since that relates to my project. I also chose to make these flags because in my Clown Project, there's a scene where Grimaldi's sailor brother mysteriously reappears and vanishes from the clown's life, and the Grimaldi biography is also a Victorian retelling of a Regency occurrence (Nelson was a Regency war hero). Synchronicity!

I've already cut out and pieced together the felt for my nautical flags. These are some photos of my stack, so far. Unfortunately, I am nine flags short because I ran out of blue and white felt. Until I have a chance to pick some up, I'm keeping busy stitching the pieces together. When I've finished, I'll will string them together with white nylon cord.

Blue Iris - In Progress

2009-06-06T22:39:00.010-04:00

There Aurelius Evangel saw the Fleur-de-lis, saw the blue iris, that which Ruskin called the flower of chivalry, with a sword for its leaf and a lily for its heart.
--Opal Whitely, The Fairyland Around Us

For my video, the Blue Iris will be presented as a chivalrous knight in a blue cotton tunic decorated with a yellow and gold fleur de lis. The above image I found online and am using as the basis of my design.

Here are the pattern pieces I made from the image and the initial felt cut-outs stacked together. I am working with felt because it is warm and fuzzy, soft and comforting, and typically associated with children's crafts. I want all the costumes and props and settings to be within the realm of childhood occupation, but elevated.

The fleur de lis has three layers of felt and the ring around it has two layers, to help accentuate the sculptural/ textural qualities of the felt. I have already sewn all the layers together and have started to sew on the details from the image in gold-colored thread.

Cousin Columbine Pattern

2009-05-28T01:04:00.006-04:00

My Spring characters are Opal/Narrator; Persephone; Aurelius Evangel, the little wind fairy; Cousin Columbine; Great Blue Heron,the fisherman; and Fleur-de-lis, the blue iris. Opal will be wearing street clothes; I already made Persephone's costume; I'm not 100% sure what I am going to do for Aurelius Evangel and Great Blue Heron, yet; and Fleur-de-lis and Cousin Columbine's costumes need to be sewn.

For my characters, I usually draw from memory, imagination, and books, as well as search Google image, to come up with ideas. Above is a sketch I made of pictures I liked from an internet search. I needed some basic shapes and colors to work with.

From that first sketch, I went on to brainstorm individual costumes. This photo is of my sketch for Cousin Columbine. I included several variations on the dress shape and color in order to decide what would look the best and what would be the most feasible to make.

I ended up choosing the skirt and apron shaped like columbine petals. This photo is of the paper pattern I made for both. Eventually there will also be a bodice and a head piece.

I started sewing this costume before we went to Pennsylvania, and am about a third of the way done. I might need to finish this costume later, though, because Spring is almost over. I should start working on Summer costumes and props so that they will be ready for when I start shooting Summer scenes.

The Clown Project

2009-05-06T23:53:00.004-04:00

I can't work on the Fairyland Project all the time; I'd go crazy. So I have two other projects that are in the development stage, which I have titled the Clown Project and the Horror Project. With both of these, I want to pull some long-term interests into a coherent whole. The Horror Project will come out of psychological horror and gothic romance, and I am mostly reading books and watching movies and writing out a few potential plot lines at this point.

My next project will be on clowns. I've had an attraction to clowns and the circus before, but once I saw Lon Chaney's film, He Who Gets Slapped, all the loose pieces floating around in my head started to come together. Around the same time we saw the movie, Alan was reading Memoirs of Joseph Grimaldi, originally edited by Charles Dickens, and sharing some interesting anecdotes from it with me, like a navy brother who mysteriously disappears, never to be seen again. Grimaldi is one of the most famous clowns in history, a Regency celebrity. I'm a Janeite, and I thought if I worked out of Grimaldi, here was my big chance to use all the useless Regency history I've learned in the course of being a major Jane Austen fan.

I'm not sure what the piece will be yet, but at the heart will be the tragic clown figure, with a bit of Lon Chaney, Pierrot, and Grimaldi thrown in. I have a "masculine" character I am calling "Joe," who will wear a Pierrot-type costume, and a "feminine" counterpart I am calling "Jane," who will wear a white Regency gown with black sash. Both will wear a heart on their chest, like Lon Chaney's character.

I've done some brain storming, and I am reading the Dicken's bio myself, right now, and I might try to span a time range from the 18th century to the 21st, and potentially drawing from theater (burlesque, melodroma, pantomime, Commedia dell' Arte) and model theaters (dioramas, cycloramas, panaramas, curiosity cabinets, etc); circuses, carnivals, and freak shows; silent films and horror films; and dancing.

Other sources for the project I want to look into are Shelley and Byron for horror influences and Buster Keaton for the tragic clown. I see this project as a nice segue into the Horror Project, and perhaps there's a nice segue from the Fairyland Project into this project, as Grimaldi was an avid insect collector in his youth. Not that I am looking for or need a transition, I just like it when various interests intersect harmoniously and create a new kind of sense.

Fairyland Project Update

2009-05-04T12:38:00.002-04:00

I haven't been posting as much as I'd like; lately personal events have taken precedence over my production schedule. For example, Alan had eye surgery, we celebrated Passover, and now we are in Pennsylvania helping my Father-in-Law recover from heart surgery.

I've still been busy working on my Fairyland Project, though. I've been refining my script and and working on costume designs. My script is about an inch thick now, and Alan thinks I should photograph it and put the script up online. And before we left for Pennsylvania, I started sewing a costume for a "character," Cousin Columbine, who is a columbine flower "wearing a dress of blue." She will wear a blue petal skirt with a white petal apron, a blue bodice, and a yellow stamen headband.

I've been pretty busy looking after my Father-in-Law, but I did find time to go to Joann Fabric and Craft Store to pick up supplies to make some other costumes and props. I will be making a costume for Fleur-de-lis, "the blue iris," Aurelius Evangel, "a little wind fairy," a sailor, probably a raindrop, decorative bunting for a reception for the "Dandelion family," and a classical Greek maiden.

I was hoping to finish this video by the end of the year, and I will still try and work towards that goal, but realistically, I think this project is going to take much longer. It's a little crazy that it'll take so long to complete, but I'm a little crazy too. I realized this is why I usually don't bother to push past the concept phase. I can't remember when I even started this project (although, before I wasn't working so intensely); probably I started casually with the reading of The Singing Creek Where the Willows Grow: The Mystical Nature Diary of Opal Whiteley about 9 years ago, and more seriously with the independent study I did on Opal Whiteley about 4 years ago. So I guess I shouldn't be too discouraged if I need to work on it for another 2 years.

INTRANSIT: A Journal of Art and TechnoScience

2009-04-16T22:36:00.003-04:00

Alan and Foofwa and I are in the DVD video journal INTRANSIT, volume 4, called "What the [Glitch]?!." It just arrived in the mail, so we haven't had a chance to watch it, but the cover art is by Alan and there are three pieces on the DVD with us: The Wall (improvisation by Foofwa d'Imobilite and Maud Liardon, mise en scene by Alan Sondheim), What Remains (by Alan Sondheim, voice and song by Azure Carter), and AZRun (by Azure Carter, videography by Alan Sondheim). The link to the journal is: http://astrodime.wordpress.com/intransit/

Storm King (Production Still)

2009-04-04T01:43:00.000-04:00

I walked in the forest today--when the Storm King passed by. The winds, they did whistle and shriek, and the day it was bleak. But I love to walk in the forest on just such a day--with the wind against my face and the rain upon it. Most of the wee folks are hidden away at storm time--but the ferns, they bow their fronds together--and the trees, they touch hands as the wind goes rushing through.

--Opal Whiteley, The Fairyland Around Us

Thursday, we went to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens to try and shoot a couple of more Winter scenes. Alas! Spring had already arrived in the form of flowering cherry trees, magnolias, and forsythia. I ended up shooting my Storm King scene in the Native Flora Garden, which was still quite brown, and choosing to wait on my Cathedral scene (maybe I'll shoot in Pennsylvania when we visit Alan's dad, or maybe I'll be able to shoot it at Cathedral State Park, if we go to West Virginia).

Alan was a reluctant Storm King, and there was much grumbling, even though the costuming was minimal. I dressed him in blues and greens, added a sweater and scarf, and made a crown out of twigs and silver wire. I needed Alan to be the Storm King because there will be an additional scene where he plays the pump organ.

While enjoying the sunshine, Alan and I took some video of the turtles and koi in the Japanese pond. I don't have a specific use for them, but we were able to get nice close ups, and I might want some animal shots later.

Among The Ferns (Part 3)

2009-04-01T17:13:00.001-04:00

We shot two other scenes: one of the Gothic front gates and one of me walking off through the cemetery. We didn't get any production stills of them, though. I wanted to include the rest of the poem that Whiteley uses, so I've filled in with other snapshots from that same day.

And in the silence of the greenwood I knew the
secret of the growth of the ferns;
I saw their delicate leaflets tremble breathing
an undescribed and unuttered life;
And, below, the ocean lay sleeping;
And round them the mountains and the stars
dawned in glad companionship for ever.
Who shall understand the words of the ferns
lifting their fronds innumerable?

Who, going forthwith his heart like nature's garden,
Shall hear through his soul the voices of all creation,
Voices of mountain and star, voices of all men,
Softly, audibly raining?--shall seize and fix them,
Rivet them fast with love, no more to lose them?

The poem is intact until the line "dawned in glad companionship forever." After that, Whiteley edits out about two thirds of the poem, taking a line from here and there to finish it. It still is lovely.

Among The Ferns (Production Stills - Part 2)

2009-03-31T00:51:00.000-04:00

And I listened, and lo! softly inaudibly raining
I heard not the voices of the ferns only,
but of all living creatures:
Voices of mountain and star,
Of cloud and forest and ocean,

And of the little rills tumbling amid the rocks,
And of the high tops where the moss-beds are
and the springs arise.

As the wind at mid-day rains whitening over
the grass,
As the night-bird glimmers a moment, fleeting
between the lonely watcher and the moon,
So softly inaudibly they rained,
Where I sat silent.

***

The monument in the first and last photo is described by Richman as "terra cotta gargoyles." The front gates of the cemetery are very elaborate and Gothic, and between the gates and the gargoyles, it gives me the option to give the final scene a Gothic feel. The dress with it's long sleeves look a little medieval, too, even if it's rather perkily colored. Too bad it was so sunny out!

The pond in the middle photo is called "Valley Water." I wanted a water scene/reflecting pool, and there was a big bulldozer by "Sylvan Water," the largest pond, and we didn't walk as far as "Crescent Water" and "Dell Water," the other two ponds. Valley Water had some nice rocks and leaves and branches protruding, has a fountain in the middle and a chapel on one side (but the won't show up in the video), and there are graves all around (you can see the pond in the background of the first photo).

In the last photo, I am holding a token fern frond (from my rabbit's foot fern at home). The video won't be a literal adaptation, but the poem is called "Among the Ferns," and if it works out, there'll be some image of ferns included, even if it's just my little rabbit's foot frond.

Among The Ferns (Production Stills - Part 1)

2009-03-26T23:04:00.000-04:00

The book that I am basing my video on, The Fairyland Around Us, was self-published. There were never many copies to start with, and there are even less now. On David A. Caruso's website, he reproduces the book from a copy at the University of Oregon's library.

There are always problems working from copies (there could be errors in transcription), and the book has been copied into a web format with hyperlinks (so that is a completely different experience from the original paper book). But, sometimes you have to make do with the best resources available to you. Luckily, I am not trying to make a tight adaptation of the original, so I have some latitude for difference built in to my project.

In the online version of the book, the final text is an uncredited poem about ferns. I did a Google search on the phrase "in the greenwood wilderness," and discovered that the poem is called "Among The Ferns" by Edward Carpenter. I also discovered that she took some liberties with the poem, and heavily edited it down. If anyone is interested in reading the original work, it is available for free as a pdf from Google Books, in The Gypsy Trail: An Anthology For Campers.

Because the poem mentions "greenwood" a few times, and has a melancholy air, it appealed to some inner sort of rightness to video this section at Green-Wood Cemetery. (There is also a section called "In Our Cathedral" that I would really love to video at Cathedral State Park in West Virginia. I ran out of time when I was there last year.) The "Among The Ferns" scene will be the last scene in my Winter sequence, and the last scene of my entire video (as it was the last section of the book). I've chosen to arrange the Fairyland video by seasons and cycles, Spring to Winter, birth to death.

In one section of the poem, it describes ferns, "like wings, winnowing the air." So I wanted to have an image of an angel to go with this. I haven't been to to Green-Wood in a few years, so location scouting would have been a good idea, but the weather has been bad and the cemetery is 478 acres. I couldn't find the angel I originally had in mind, but ended up using the one in these three photos. Jeffrey I. Richman's map of cemetery describes her as the "Angel Of Death." Alan and I thought she'd do well.

I lay among the ferns,

Where they lifted their fronds innumerable,
in the greenwood wilderness, like wings
winnowing the air;
And their voices went past me continually.

Green-wood Cemetery Shoot

2009-03-25T23:40:00.000-04:00

This afternoon, Alan and I went to Green-wood Cemetery in Brooklyn to shoot the final scene of the Winter sequence in my Fairyland video. The cemetery was founded in 1838, and many famous people are buried there, like Samuel Morse, Louis Comfort Tiffany, Currier and Ives, etc. In 2006, it was designated a National Historic Landmark. It has these gorgeous Gothic gates, and Quaker Parrots have built large communal nests on them. It's one of the bests things I've seen in ages! Tomorrow I'll post some production stills.

Kansas (Lyrics, Text, Notes)

2009-03-20T20:33:00.000-04:00

Kansas

I wonder what Kansas will be like
I imagine rolling hills
And high chaparral

I think there will be very many missile silos
In the hills
Like white pointy flowers
Oh there are such flowers
They leave long pointy stems
You should see such flowers

The stems grow
And then they are gone
And the flowers too

I do think Kansas will be like that
So beautiful

***

I wonder what Kansas will be like
I imagine rolling hills
And high chaparral

I think there will be very many missile silos
In the hills
Like white pointy flowers
Oh there are such flowers
They leave long pointy stems
You should see such flowers

The stems grow
And then they are gone
And the flowers too

I do think Kansas will be like that
So beautiful

***

I wonder what Kansas will be like
I imagine rolling hills
And high chaparral

I think there will be very many missile silos
In the hills
Like white pointy flowers
Oh there are such flowers
They leave long pointy stems
You should see such flowers

The stems grow
And then they are gone
And the flowers too

I do think Kansas will be like that
So beautiful

***

I wonder what Kansas will be like

***

Alan's original text:

I wonder what Kanses wil be like. I imagine roling hils and high chaparel.
I think there will be very many misile silos in the hils like white pointy
flowers coming up thru the hils. They will be very sad to leav this place
and the medows wil be empty when they do. O there are such flowers as you
can not imagin wheen they are ther like that. They leav long pointy stems
behind them wen they go up in the air lik that. You can see such flowers.
The stems grow and then they are gone and the flowrs to. Then it is sad in
the medows becaus they ar al gon just like that. I do think kansas will be
lik that so butiful. Now I am in Omaha and that is just like Kanses I
think but ther is 1 big diferns. That is, the misiles are so quiet here I
do not kno wher they ar. Perhaps they are alredy left. I do so hope not.
Now I wil go and wach the war. Alan.

***

We had some family visiting from Canada, and I fell behind a bit on my blog (and my work in general). But it was a great visit and we're glad they could come all the way from Victoria and Dawson Creek, BC, to see us.

Kansas is the very first song I wrote (ahhhhh!). Alan and I and Foofwa were up in Owego, NY, on a residency at the Experimental Television Center ( I think this was in 2000). For a video, Alan asked me if I thought I could come up with a song in about an hour (the time it would take Foofwa to warm up). I asked where I was supposed to get the words from and he handed me one of the proofs from Parallax (2000, vol. 6, no. 2. 132-139), where Alan was having some writing published.

I had no idea how I was going to come up with a song, but I guess it's amazing what fear of failure and adrenaline can do. I can't even remember how I ended up choosing that particular text of Alan's rather than the others. The video ended up being called Ennui. In the video, I am standing in the front of the frame singing and not paying any attention to Alan and Foofwa, who are at the back of the frame, playing guitar and dancing, respectively, as fast as they can.

Alan wrote this piece while driving across country on a speaking tour. I see the song as a travelogue and also about the absurdities of war.

Bird Feeder (Production Still)

2009-03-09T22:30:00.000-04:00

I took advantage of the snow storm we had last week to video the bird feeder our neighbor Martha keeps in the backyard. This will be for the Winter scenes in my Fariyland project. There were only a couple of birds out, and the weather was so cold, I didn't bother to try and photograph any of them. I have had bad luck trying to video live birds at feeders (they don't mind my cat at the window, but definitely seem to be camera shy). For the moment, I've given up even trying until I get a little more time and the perfect opportunity.

The Fairyland text is kind of unruly (a mixture of journal entries and stories), so I am using the four seasons as a handle on the material. I am starting with Spring and ending with Winter. The first scene in the Winter sequence will start with the shot of the word "Winter" written in bird seed, then a brief shot of the bird feeder in the snow, and end with a scene I shot in West Virginia of "Opal's Lunch Counter." That scene is of me filling up a brightly colored children's tea set with bird seed, and I don't have any readily available production stills of that yet.

Second Life Soundtrack

2009-03-03T10:24:00.001-05:00

Alan's residency at Odyssey in Second Life just ended February 28th. He spent the last week of the installation, The Accidental Artist, documenting it and made a nice recording of the sound while moving his avatar through the space. Alan placed sound files of me singing and him playing various instruments in Odyssey, and as you navigated the installation, the files would be triggered, so you have the effects of space, distance and layering with the music. The link to the recording is: http://www.alansondheim.org/azure/secondlifelast.mp3

The image is from The Accidental Artist.

Cauldron (Lyrics, Text, Notes)

2009-02-21T14:51:00.000-05:00

Cauldron

Something glistening
Something of skin and hair torn
Charred, cracked, raw skin
Read to be sure

Superimpositions
Transformations through void
Standing in
For standing out

This grand season
Before the festival of cauldrons

I can hardly move
I can hardly breathe
Thrust among us
Rendered parts
Dismemberments
Disease

Extensions of Chora
Processes within
Erratic behaviors
Totality and sin

Intensions of language
Partial objects
Created among clusters
Infinite abacus

This grand season
Before the festival of cauldrons

I can hardly move
I can hardly breathe
Thrust among us
Rendered parts
Dismemberments
Disease

Ascendant maw
O carapace
Inclement weathers
Metonymic process

Telling of culture
I need to know
Will you be auspicious
Daishin Nikuko

This grand season
Before the festival of cauldrons

I can hardly move
I can hardly breathe
Thrust among us
Rendered parts
Dismemberments
Disease

Alan's original text:

*/carapace/*

*/

reach mawed into and believed of cracked skin maw: as if culture
torn/inscribed by virtue of chance heat/death:
reach in and grab something:
murder-body: use these organs into something
something cracked something
something mauled something
mewled something
something tore something
something grabbed something used something
reached in and grabbed something
something glistening
something of skin and hair torn or bone torn
of the carapace: charred, cracked raw skin read: to be sure
"i will need to know if daishin nikuko will be auspicious"
"this grand season before the festival of cauldrons"
it can hardly move: isopod carapace:
it can hardly breathe:
Of the carapace:
Ascendant Maw, O Carapace! Thrust among us; within the Telling
Or Told of Culture: without, inclement weathers.
Metonymic processes within: That is to say, those of rendered
Parts, dismemberments, partial-objects, extensions of Chora,
Erratic Behaviors:

Metaphoric processes without: That is to say, those of Totality,
those of Superimpositions, Intensions of Language:

Carapace Standing-In for Standing-Out

"something of something": the creation of objects among clusters
the clumping of objects
aggregation of objects
infinite abacus ()
transformation through void ()
dust ()

Cauldron ()
Main ()

/*

I used to throw a big Halloween party every year and I love Gothic imagery, so when I saw the line, "this grand season before the festival of cauldrons," I knew this was my chance for a "macabre" song. Originally, I think Alan's writing was paired with a picture of a giant deep sea isopod we photographed at the New York Aquarium. It's a large, ghostly white crustacean which looks like a cat-sized pill bug. Gorgeous! I've never seen anything like it. Eerily beautiful.

The stanzas have a one, two, three, four pattern, with all the ones being sung the same way, all the twos the same way, etc.

Nikuko is the name of one of Alan's avatars, and she is roughly inspired by the Japanese creation myths in the Kojiki, and is sometimes a destructive demi-urge.

Alan's texts are written in courier, as I have reprinted them here, but unfortunately they tend to be longer than the width of the blog page and there is some run-over. (When I make them small enough so that this doesn't happen, they are unreadable.) So the visual patterns of the pieces don't look exactly the same as they did when he originally posted them online, but the content is the same.

Posting & Relevant Websites

2009-02-19T23:26:00.000-05:00

For anyone who is interested in following my blog, I am trying to keep to a schedule of posting at least once a week. It helps me to keep up the pace on my production, because otherwise my deadlines are mostly arbitrary.

I also wanted to post links to Alan Sondheim's website (www.alansondheim.org) and Foofwa d'Imobilite's website (www.foofwa.com), since we all collaborate and some of my work is also on their sites.

If anyone is interested in reading the text by Opal Whiteley that I am basing my video on, The Fairyland Around Us, it can be found at: http://www.efn.org/~caruso/fairyland/

Her best writing is The Story of Opal: The Journal of and Understanding Heart, reprinted by Penguin Books as The Singing Creek Where the Willows Grow: The Mystical Nature Diary of Opal Whiteley. This book is one of the most amazing pieces of American writing; it's charming, human, and with an utterly unique voice. I completed an independent study on Opal Whiteley as part of my Master's degree, and it seems that there are so many people with something at stake over the representaion of her and her work, that I felt starting with this piece would be too overdetermined for a first video.

I still wanted to work on a project related to her writings, so I chose The Fairyland Around Us. This is not a great piece of writing and has never been reprinted, but it's interesting as an artefact of early 20th Century nature writing, is supposed to be evocative of her famous nature lectures, and is suitably strange as a children's book. I'm hoping to use it to help capture some of her sense of wonder and love of nature.

What Remains (Lyrics, Song, Text, Notes)

2009-02-19T00:05:00.000-05:00

What Remains

Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya

What remains
After the filtering
After the protocols
After enumeration
And denumeration

What remains
After the orbit
After the rockets
Across softwares
And hardwares

What remains
As higher ascii
Particles cleaned up
Text rendered taut
And distraught

What remains
After the deluge
Nothing but ashes
Like any work
All work at a loss

Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya

(Softly)
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya
Maya maya maya

Here's the link to What Remains: http://www.alansondheim.org/azure/whatremains.mp3

Here's Alan's original text:

what remains after the deluge

maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya
maya &a; &b; &c; &d; &e; < > & &lb; maya maya maya & maya & " maya maya
maya maya maya maya maya maya maya < maya maya maya maya maya maya maya
maya maya maya maya ^? maya ^? maya maya maya maya maya
maya-prayer-extensions maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya
maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya
maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya maya
maya maya " maya maya maya maya maya < > maya > maya maya maya

after the filtering and after the protocols
after the enumerations after the denumerations

what remains after the orbit
after the rockets thrust into datagrams and routings
across softwares and hardwares

what remains as higher ascii particles are cleaned up, the text
rendered taut / distraught, nothing but ashes, it's just like
any work, all work at a _loess_

=====

Ideally, I'd include Alan's original text side by side with all my lyrics, but I no longer have the original digital texts, haven't searched his archive for them yet, and most are far longer than I'd like to type out. But this one was short, so I included it. (Blogger did not seem to like this text, though, and I've ended up retyping it several times - so pardon if anything looks "off.")

I try and create someting new from the texts while staying as true to them as possible. I usually don't add any words to my song that aren't in the text, and if possible, I keep to the same word order. I was very pleased that I managed to use so many of the "maya's": my 72 to Alan's 98. Maya in this case, does not refer to the 3D modeling software, but to the Sanskrit word for illusion, or literally, "not that." I thought it sounded nice as a chant.

What originally caught my eye with this text were the lines about orbits and rockets and thrusting. My Dad worked at Boeing, and now at United Launch Alliance, on Delta II and IV rockets, and he emails us links to watch rocket launches live over the internet. Alan and I love to watch them, and Alan often records the audio feed, and I thought this piece might have been partly inspired by the launches and listening to the command booth checklist and countdown.

The photo is a picture of my dad and I hiking on the Aurora Resevoir in Colorado this past November.

Winter (Production Still)

2009-02-09T22:16:00.000-05:00

I took advantage of the snow last week to film the title for the Winter sequence of my Fairyland video. The word is spelled in bird seed, and the image will be paired with some video I shot prior of a "lunch counter" for birds. I am hoping to finish shooting most of my Winter scenes by the end of this month.

Parables of Nikuko (Song)

2009-02-04T13:09:00.000-05:00

Here's a link to an older piece of work: http://www.alansondheim.org/azure/cord.mp3

I'm reading and performing a text of Alan's (I didn't alter it), from his chapbook called The Parables of Nikuko, and Alan is playing the shamisen. It served as the soundtrack/narrative for one of a series of videos featuring Foofwa d'Imobilite.

Avatar Man with Dream Woman (Lyrics, Song, Notes)

2009-02-04T12:33:00.000-05:00

Avatar Man With Dream Woman

I've become imaginary
Disappearing in the movement
I've become contaminated
Raster of clock time

Avatar Man with Dream Woman
Don't listen to me, Dream Woman
Don't listen to me, Avatar Man

***

This avatar package
Already dead inside
This building is condemned
We know nothing's alive

You can look inside
He says
You can do it
Avatar edge
Shooting out to infinity

Limits of the world
Images of lost fecundity
Fragility of good things
We are doomed to novelty

You can look inside
Dream Woman
The imaginary rides
No world
No limit
No grid
Nothing

Our male likes death
It excites him sexually
We know meat in his absence
Gamespace economy

You can look inside
She says
Death meat body
Hierarchy
Not holarchy

Dream Woman enters a hole
Twisting through forbidden space
There's no moment to her moment
Hair fluid across face

You can look inside
Avatar
Hemisphere eye
Prim edge
Geek construct
And Linden brain

***

I have done my work here
Return us to ourselves
The imaginary leaves us
As nothing ever will

Avatar Man with Dream Woman
Don't listen to me, Dream Woman
Don't listen to me, Avatar Man

Here's the link to the song, Avatar Man with Dream Woman: http://www.alansondheim.org/azure/avatardream.mp3

This version is just a string of practice takes, and I'll try and put up a final version soon. Rather than listening to the whole thing, you can skip to the last complete song, about 2/3 of the way through, to hear a good version.

I had been working on this song for a while, but finished it in the beginning of 2008. Alan's original text was about Second Life, an online virtual world. For me, the song has to do with virtual life and relationships, and shows some of both the fantasy and reality, richness and poverty, delusion and creativity, of that experience. I liked Alan's original piece, which was very expressive of virtual bodies/people moving and interacting in virtual space, and I made this song so that he could put it up during his residency in Second Life's Odyssey art space. I imagined it as sort of anthem/theme song of virtual experience.

(The photo is of Foofwa and I performing as avatars in Brown University's CAVE, a virtual reality theater.)

Making Boys (Lyrics,Song, Notes)

2009-02-04T12:02:00.000-05:00

Making Boys

The very grain of the boy
.echo the boy
Great inundation sweeps through the boy
.echo the boy
So fun for girls and boys
.echo the boy
Salute the boy
.echo the boy
Look at the boy
.echo the boy
Better make sure of the boy
.echo the boy
You're going to change the boy
.echo the boy
Put it all around the boy
.echo the boy
Time is beginning with the boy
.echo the boy
Circles were marked on the boy
.echo the boy
Everything's slightly awkward with the boy
.echo the boy
Over and over noise pummeled the boy
.echo the boy
Over and over noise was added to the boy
.echo the boy
Over and over protrusions followed the boy
.echo the boy
It was as if the boy
.echo the boy
Filters were placed on the boy
.echo the boy
You could tell the boy
.echo the boy
Six suns orbited the boy
.echo the boy
I am the boy
.echo the boy
Good and kind for the boy
.echo the boy
You're doing a lot for the boy
.echo the boy
Not bad at all for the boy
.echo the boy
You can hurt yourself, but you don't want to hurt the boy
.echo the boy
What talk does to the boy
.echo the boy
What talk did to the boy
.echo the boy
Bury the boy
.echo the boy
The very grain of the boy
.echo the boy
.echo the boy
.echo the boy

Here's the link to the recording of Making Boys: http://www.alansondheim.org/azure/makingboys2.mp3

I knew I wanted to make this song as soon as I saw Alan's text, but I kept working on other pieces, like Avatar Man with Dream Woman, and putting this piece off because I figured it would come together easily. When I did finally sit down to work on it, the process ground to a halt. Alan needed it quickly and I was experimenting with a a more complicated, numbered structure. Finally, in order to get it completed in time, I had to be a bit zen and go with an earlier, simpler structure that seemed to work.

A lot of Alan's texts have the "tech" coming through, bits of code showing up in his work; it's a style of digital writing he named codework. I tend to avoid working with the ones that have too many technical terms or too much code in them, because I don't think they would sound as good and they break up the narrative and would be more difficult to relate to, etc, but occasionally I like to use some code or technical terms in a song to reflect the type of writing Alan does. In DOS, echo is a command that repeats input. In the case of this song and Alan's piece, what is repeated is the phrase "the boy." I don't think you have to know what the term echo refers to, though, to like the way the song sounds.

Blood Tantra (Song)

2009-02-04T11:47:00.000-05:00

Alan put some recordings of my songs up online, so I can finally share them. Here's a link to my new song, Blood Tantra: http://www.alansondheim.org/azure/bloodtantra4.mp3

Hand Shadows, Dedication & Spring (Production Stills)

2009-02-01T11:27:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday, our neighbor, Martha Wilson, let me use her space to film in. Alan shot two scenes for me; one is of me making hand shadows on a screen, which I will use for the opening titles, and the other of me sleeping, which I will show with a voice over of Opal Whiteley's book dedication. The vintage wooden puzzle on the bed spells out "Spring," and I will segue from a close-up of the word to the Spring-themed sequences of the video.

Notes on Blood Tantra

2009-01-22T16:55:00.000-05:00

I just finished writing and recording my new song, Blood Tantra, yesterday. I completed it in a record amount of time; I just started working on it Sunday or Monday, and usually I take weeks, months, years to come up with a new song (for no very good or explainable reason). But by whatever means, this fell together easily, possibly beacuse I was frustrated at not getting enough creative work done, and devoted the last few days to working on this song, and trying to work quickly.

I based it on a text of Alan's called Blood Tantra, Second Life. When Alan first heard the song, he thought I made it up from scratch; he didn't recognize the words. (I've asked him before if my songs sound like his texts, and he's said only vaguely.) It's a long text, about a page and a quarter, and without putting words into Alan's mouth, has to do with virtual reality and Buddhist philosophy.

I was drawn to this piece because of its rich elemental and magical imagery; it seems saturated with blood reds and ocean blues and fantastic beings. I shaped my narrative roughly to be a romance between a mythical character come to life and the person reading/writing/desiring her. I saw the narrator as the embodiment of text and as a fractured fantasy; she is the mythic come to life, a powerful demiurge rising from the sea, who both merges with/controls/and rejects the person who created/desired her. But I think I left enough vagueness in the text that the song would be open to interpretation.

Alan's original text was written almost as lines of dialogue, and by taking out phrases that appealed to me, a structure of unrhymed tercets formed. I had most of the stanzas written when I decided I needed to add a chorus. My last song had a single unbroken structure and I didn't want to repeat that again so soon. Plus, there were two anomalous lines in Alan's piece that I really wanted to use: a string of yes's, then the phrase "have me", and another string of yes's and "own me." The chorus grew out of that, and other repetitions I divined.

Blood Tantra (Lyrics)

2009-01-21T13:50:00.000-05:00

Blood Tantra

Beneath the waves
I am transformed
Into an impossible position

Slow as can be
Tired as I am
Furiously leaning

If you are lucky
You may see my face
You may caress me

I am complete
I turn and stare
Your engagement to me

My back towards you
I am typing
Turning you around

Now I am through myself
Now I am through you
Not primitive but primeval

I will turn dawn
I will turn dusk
Against the red sea

You cannot track me
Feet in the air
Against the red sunset

Yes yes yes
Have me
Yes yes yes
Own me
I am the world and the letter

You you you
Text me
You you you
Choose me
I am the world and the letter

Red red red
Swallow me
Red red red
Drown me
I am the world and the letter

My very self
Absent from this space
Encumbered by this writing

I am neither here
I am neither there
My face and bones disappearing

My blood is everywhere
The world swallows me
The world drowns me in my blood

I speak through blood
So quickly will I speak
So quickly will I drown

You see my face
You see inside my skin
Choose me among the stars

You come in arms
You come in legs
You come through me

My veins your veins
My blood your blood
My skin your flesh

This darkling world
The flesh of bones
My lips you cannot penetrate

Yes yes yes
Have me
Yes yes yes
Own me
I am the world and the letter

You you you
Text me
You you you
Choose me
I am the world and the letter

Red red red
Swallow me
Red red red
Drown me
I am the world and the letter

Spring Costume

2009-01-14T22:56:00.000-05:00

One ongoing project I have is The Fairyland Project. Eventually it will become a video called The Fairyland Around Us, based on the 1918 children's nature book of the same name by Opal Whiteley, but right now it is in the screenwriting stage. In Pittsburgh, last year, I found a great book called Fifty Figure and Character Dances by Elizabeth Turner Bell (photo is of the cover), and I knew immediately that I wanted to use it in conjunction with this project.

There are some natural affinities between the two books: both are from the same period (the Bell book is from 1925), ascribe to a similar aesthetic, and are about teaching children. I'm choosing to recreate the dance "Return of Spring" for my video, as it compliments the nature and seasonal themes in Whiteley's book.

There is currently a small vogue in the performing arts (dance, theater, performance art) for historical recreation, and I love the idea of bad historical dance recreation (bad in that I do not have the dance education to recreate this, and bad in that the piece is unexceptional and probably doesn't warrant recreation). The idea of historic dance recreation, in relation to Bell's book of children's dances, holds a lot of charm for me; it's sort of innocent and misguided and earnest and old-fashioned, all at the same time.

I just completed the first part of the dance this weekend: the dress. I'm starting to learn how to sew, so the dress isn't perfect, but for my skill set, I think it captures the "feel" of the original (the two black and white photos are the examples given in the book). I made the pattern myself. I wanted the dress to look a bit oversized and childish, to try and make me look younger when I am wearing it (or to at least have the appearance of "young").

The description in the book of the dress is: "Loose-hanging pale-green silk dress with loose wing sleeves, pale-green hair-fillet. The dance is done with bare feet." I tried to stay true to the description and the photos, but I made a few slight deviations. I used cotton instead of silk. The dress in the photo didn't look that pale, so I chose a darker green shade. And instead of the pale ribbon trim in the photos, I opted for a bit more ornate decoration, in pale pink. My rationale for this was that the original costume was designed for the stage, where small detail would not show up well from a distance, whereas on video, the simple ribbon trim would be too subtle.

I chose to embellish the dress with a simple ribbon and yo-yo (gathered circle of fabric that looks like a rosette) trim that I felt was in keeping with the costume's home-spun style. I also decided to go with pale pink instead of pale green, because green on green was not screaming "Spring" enough for me. I needed more color. (I always need more color.) These two photos show the front and back of the dress I made. I took an embarrassingly long time to finish this dress, mostly because I hand-sewed on the ribbon and the yo-yos. It seemed like a good idea at the time, and I am a little crazy (ask anyone who knows me). In case you are wondering, there are 126 yo-yos on the dress.

This photo is a variation on the Spring dress that I need for a later scene. While writing the screenplay, I decided a John Everett Millais's Ophelia -style death scene for Winter would fit in naturally, and instead of adding in a new character, I decided Persephone needed to die, and she had to be more appropriately dressed if I was going to shoot this outside in winter. So I made a long pink skirt one afternoon and added a piece of green tulle for a veil.

Now, I just need to start practicing this dance so that when Spring hits Prospect Park, I'll be ready to capture it on video.

Bowery Poetry Club (A Video)

2009-01-13T11:02:00.000-05:00

Our friend, Adam Tobin, who owns Unnameable Books, took this still photo of Alan and I during our live performance at the Bowery Poetry Club with his beloved iPhone. When we visited Bernard, Miles, and Tom at ESP Disk on New Year's Eve, they told us they posted a video of part of our performance on You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAre8RTwF5g

So there's actual proof out there that I was able to overcome my stage fright. I spent the weeks and moments up until the event trying not to think about being on stage at all, and it helps that the audience is in the dark and all the bright lights on the stage blind you. I also tried to (subtly) face the wall, instead of directly out to the audience. The wall was terribly appreciative.

ESP also asked us if we would perform again live at Zebulon in Williamsburg on January 25th, so they must have liked us. Anyone who's in town at the end of January, please come! We'd love to see you. Here's the link to Zebulon: http://www.zebuloncafeconcert.com/

Follow 1 (A Video)

2009-01-04T22:41:00.000-05:00

This isn't the most exciting acting I've done, but it is recent. We made it in October when we were up in Providence (it was a productive week). Daniel Byers shot the video, and if you watch closely, you can see Alan shooting the still photos, like the one of Foofwa and I above. In this piece, we are acting as if we are avatars in a virtual environment, Second Life. Foofwa d'Imobilite is dancing like one of Alan's avatars (which has been programmed to move in impossible/inhuman ways with motion capture files), and my character is subtly moving, watching him perform (in Second Life, your avatar goes into an automatic "sleep" mode if you remain stationary for extended periods).

Here's the link for the video on You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxeWsLp9l_g

Marriage to Language (Lyrics)

2008-12-29T18:29:00.000-05:00

Marriage to Language

I don't understand what you're saying
Perhaps I'm not hearing you clearly
Perhaps the meaning has disappeared
Perhaps the meaning has decathected
Perhaps I understand what you're saying
But don't understand why you are saying it

I don't understand your meaning
Perhaps your words make no sense to me
Perhaps I don't get your drift
Perhaps I have never understood you
Perhaps your use of words is unclear
But your words, one by one, are clear

I don't understand the words' meaning
Perhaps I am projecting on to you
Perhaps I don't understand your effort
Perhaps your effort is to no avail
Perhaps I understand that you are speaking words
But their meaning is lost to me

I don't understand the words
Perhaps words no longer carry meaning
Perhaps words bear meaning
Perhaps that meaning is borne
Perhaps I understand the words you use
But not in the way you are using them

I don't understand your words
Perhaps their meaning is obscure
Perhaps it requires knowledge I don't possess
Perhaps I never possessed it
Perhaps I understand the meaning
But I don't understand your motive

I don't want to understand you
Perhaps I ascribe to a different theory
Perhaps my words have lost their meaning
Perhaps my words are nothing but cries and whispers
Perhaps I understand I must reply to you
But you aren't communicating anything

I can't make sense of what you're saying
Perhaps your words make no sense to me
Perhaps I don't recognize them
Perhaps it is you who are senseless
Perhaps I recognize your syllables
But you appear to be speaking nonsense

Climbs (A Video)

2008-12-29T17:58:00.001-05:00

In an attempt to get a little color up on this page, here's a still of me filming a recent video with Alan called Climbs. Foofwa d'Imobilite dances, and Daniel Byers climbs the drawbridge. We made this in October in Providence, RI, while we were attending the Interrupt festival at Brown. I think the photo shows my dedication; none of the guys were working in tights and a dress on a burned out and decaying bridge.

Here's the link to the video on You Tube, if you want to see the final piece: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nz2MLXk1V0

Bowery Poetry Club Performance

2008-12-27T20:04:00.000-05:00

I finished my latest song at the beginning of this month, and already performed it live at the Bowery Poetry Club on December 16th. I accompanied my husband, Alan Sondheim, who was playing electric guitar. He was asked to perform there as part of ESP Disk's re-release of his album, Ritual-All-7-70, and the release of Barnacled's album, Charles. Congrats!

If you want to hear the live performance, the link is: http://www.alansondheim.org/esp2.mp3

So far, all my songs have been collaborations with Alan. He writes texts daily, and I keep copies of the ones I like and that I can potentially make a song out of. Eventually, I print them out, look them over, and choose one to play around with. I try to stay true to the feel of the original text, but I do have to change the structure and some of the words until I get something I can use. Usually the tune develops at the same time that I manipulate the text.

This new song is based on Alan's text, "Narrative and Marriage to Language," and I call my song "Marriage to Language." I really liked the play of language and thought in the piece and the sense of humor about it. Alan has the version recorded at the Bowery Poetry Club playing at his installation, The Accidental Artist, in Odyssey in Second Life.

Hopefully, in the next few days, I will record a final version of the song, with just my voice, and be able to post that.

The Donkey Skin (A Blog)

2008-12-21T22:14:00.000-05:00

For those who are curious or don't recognize the reference, "The Donkey Skin" is a fairy-tale by Charles Perrault. It was my favorite childhood fairy-tale; I still have the second-hand copy of My World Of Fairy Tales given to me by the Keen's, and the spine is thoroughly broken at that story from repeated readings.

Recently, I was rereading Bruno Bettelheim's The Uses of Enchantment, and decided to do an internet search on "Donkey Skin and Psychoanalysis." Excerpts from Bettina L. Knapp's book appeared, and as soon as I read the quote that I use in my blog's description, I felt "The Donkey Skin" would be the perfect name for this site. I wanted a place to share various completed pieces and works-in-progress, and I felt the quote really captured the sense of "let's pretend" I associate with my work. I like the image of my songs, writings, costumes, videos, etc., as being ways to assume or develop other identities.

I had been thinking of starting a blog for awhile, and Knapp's writings inspired a intimate name and a way to frame it. The title and quote encapsulated so many ideas that I like to work with: childhood and individuality, imagination and creativity, fairy-tales and myths, costuming and "dress-up," a certain sort of darkness (you really should read this story), etc.